My IVF journey part 7: The agony of waiting for results

My IVF journey part 7: The agony of waiting for results

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Over the next 5 weeks, we invite you to come along on an IVF journey, step by intense step. From making the decision to go forward with in-vitro fertilization, to the meds involved and what they’re really like, and to finding out whether this emotional and sometimes painful roller coaster ride yielded the results so dreamed of and prayed for. our site blogger Melissa Willets will be documenting every detail in a series of blog posts.

You’d think being subjected to weeks of painful injections then going under anesthesia for your eggs to be surgically removed would be the hardest part of IVF.

You’d be wrong.

Waiting to find out if any of your eggs are viable is much harder than the physical discomfort of the shots, or the very real fear of being put under. Then waiting to learn if any of your eggs were fertilized and produced embryos is even harder than that.

But it gets more difficult from there.

After we found out, mercifully, my egg retrieval was successful and that a fair amount of my eggs had fertilized, it was time for more grueling waiting. Yes, I felt relieved we’d come this far, but I was terrified to death that at any point our IVF journey could come to an abrupt and heartbreaking end.

The next step petrified me more than anything. We’d opted to conduct pre-implantation genetic testing on our embryos, because I’d lost my last pregnancy due to genetic issues. I’d convinced myself I was no longer capable of having a healthy baby after our tragic loss. Now days stretched out like weeks as I waited for the phone to ring, and my fate to be revealed.

The morning that call finally came, I’d prayed to my angel baby. Please let everything be okay. I can’t handle more bad news.

But even when my doctor informed me we had multiple “normal” embryos, I barely believed it.

I remember sitting on the stairs of my home, half laughing, half crying as I let the news sink in that I could begin planning for my embryo transfer cycle. It’s as if I’d been so prepared for bad news I wasn’t able to accept this was good news.

But my husband was ecstatic. And soon, I let myself imagine that something positive could actually come out of our tragic loss. That maybe our angel baby led us here to this place at this time, so that we could welcome a new life into our family.

Still, my IVF journey was far from over. The transfer cycle would involve more meds, and larger, more painful injections. Next week, I’ll detail what this part of IVF is like, and the toll it takes both physically and mentally, as you continue to dream and pray for a happy ending.

Read more about my IVF journey:

Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.

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